Sharing Something That Was Just Meant to Be

Very busy these days but have something very moving that I want to share.

Some of my "regular" blog readers may remember a post I did on January 1, 2006. It read as follows:

As we enter a new year I cannot help but think of and worry about a man I have never met. Although I have only seen him from a distance, I feel very deeply for him. You see there is a cemetery we drive by on our way to Salem.

Right after Thanksgiving we drove by and I spotted this elderly man by a newly dug grave covered with a mound of fresh flowers. His car was parked nearby but he sat beside the grave in a fold up aluminum lawn chair.

I am sure the grave was that of his long time spouse...and it struck me that his whole life was probably right there. How sad...they probably had spent every hour together for years and now that she is gone he has no where to go...no one to be with.

We drove by again when we went to Vancouver on the morning of Christmas Eve. I was not surprised to see him there in the rain standing by the grave, rocking from one foot to the other as though he was carrying on a difficult conversation with his dear departed one.

Reach out to those around you and appreciate them while you have them...also think about those widowed neighbors and any way that you can make their days a bit brighter. Some day we will all be there and needing that same hug or a smile or a friend. Give till it hurts...but it won't hurt...it will feel good !

Last week I was driving alone from Portland back to the Coast and passed by this same cemetery. Since I was alone and not on a particular schedule, something drew me to turn off and go investigate the gravesite where I had seen this gentleman last winter. I was afraid he had subsequently been laid to rest beside his beloved wife.

It was nearly noon on a Sunday and no one was around the cemetery office so I just drove right on through and over to the hillside markers. I got out of my car and strolled up and down the markers.

Strange, was this really where I had seen him stand? Most of these stones were for deceased members of the military. I also noted that many did not have dates on them or had a birth date but no date of death. A "resting" place prepared in advance of their "passing".

I had difficulty figuring out from dates which one would be hers. Since I had seen him out here around Thanksgiving and on into December I expected a death date of last November. I could not find one that fit the scenario. Finally I decided it was time to drive on. I got in my car and started up the hill. Realizing that this road led up to a mausoleum, I turned around and came back down again passing the hillside markers. As I did up pulled a very official looking white car. The man inside had on a dress shirt, tie and name tag. I thought it was someone from the cemetery checking to see if I needed help finding someone. I pulled alongside his car and got out.

I greeted the gentleman and told him I had seen a man here standing over a grave and that I was trying to locate it...he answered "YES, THAT WAS ME AT MY WIFE'S GRAVE!" The first thing that came out of my mouth, without even thinking was, "Can I give you a hug?" He said sure...and with that out of the way I asked him to show me his wife's grave.

We walked together to one of the military graves I had looked at on my own. You see they were both in the Navy and he met her when she flew on the plane he was piloting in WWII. The grave was adorned with flowers and also with a free standing picture frame containing a beautiful picture of her in her dress navy uniform at about age 25.

Howard went on to tell me that he and Helen had been married 60 years. Howard retired from the Navy in 1965. Helen had celebrated her 85th birthday in April 2004. Another bouquet of flowers there had a 80th birthday picture of her attached. The entire area around her head stone was like a "shrine" to her. He admitted he is there "talking with her" just about every day. He beamed as he told me of all their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. He says he just misses her so very much.

I congratulated him for taking such good care of himself, as she would have wanted him to. He said the kids don't leave him alone for too very long and check on him often.

It then hit me as I read her head stone. She died in March 2005. This is 18 months later and this dedicated man is still making daily visits to her "shrine". This is not to say I would want the same daily visits when I pass on, but what impresses me is the depth of the love between these two. What a wonderful example in this day and age of "drive through" relationships.

As I finally got in my car and drove out of the cemetery, I noted that Howard (fresh from Sunday church services) had removed his lawn chair from the trunk of his car and settled in for another heart warming chat with his beloved Helen.

And now, as Paul Harvey would say, you (and I) know the rest of the story !!!